Me wear specs, you no like?

Yesterday was the day i decided i couldn't do it anymore on my own. the bitching, the complaining, the self-blaming and loathing. I am a new creation in Him, dammit! And I want to live that way. However, today is slacks. Went to the gym and couldn't even sustain for 10 min on the rowing machine. Think cos the top I was wearing showed all my fats, which in turn demotivated me. excuses excuses, bleah.

On a side note, dicovered a meme by faithT, aptly named sexyspeckyblogger that took up the better part of my arvo. I didn't find the glasses, they found me...

First cut is the deepest (continued...)

Over lunch, Lisi told me some geniune pearls of wisdom. Now this was someone who could easily have passed off as 16 leh. But she's 24 and her looks and age dun match..hahaha....

After telling her my sob story, she said over mouthfuls of home-made pasta, "what did you expect from an 18 year-old?" Come to think of it, I could have done worse when I was 18. Mind you, this is not consolation. In the aftermath of the whirlwind romance my state of mind went from "was is something I did or didn't do" to "it's not me it's her". Now it feels better, cos I finally realise it was the psyche of an 18 year-old. Well the psyche of THE 18 year-old. And it truly is time to let go...

On an another note--what I almost wanted to treat as spam was actually gd for laughs. There was this marathon event which limpeh run the half marathon. Then I click on the links--not one, but 2 photos wor...so power...maybe cos I'm the slow one that they could get 2 shots of...haha...

For those of youse interested, go to www.marathon-photos.com and select sydney marathon on the table on the right. Click red pants and red top (why, limpeh hiao wanna be colour co-ordinated cannot ah?). Gender no need to say, is male hor.

Attacked by ducks!

My Uni, aside from being screwed up, boasts of a eco-environment. Have lake in the middle which seperates the scientists and engineers from the arts(read:smoke pot all day), business(sells the pot) and law(covers the backsides of those who deal with pot). So with lake in middle smack bang in middle of Uni then must have animals rite? So ducks were free to roam.

So happen that when I balek kampong today there was this bunch of ducks near where I parked my car. Raining some more. Technically speaking everywhere water so no need to stay near the lake lah. So when I approached my car, the mother duck ( should be lah,motherfucker..) came at me. Fly 1 round around me nair mind, after land oredi still quack at me some more.. Piangz...

But I guess this duck reminds me of my mom. Being protective of me that is. Gosh I miss her...

First cut is the deepest...

The first cut is the deepest

I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

I was bored enough to go on friendster after a reminder that say saya neber patronise them for a while oredi. So I go lor. Then I see my fren Rita's stat go from "single" to "in a relationship". Wah...

Then after some general surfing I went to type her name in "search users". Boredom+curiosity I guess. Bad idea. She has a best fren with the same name.Her profile wasn't there but her fren's was. And it came wif pics. With her in it...

Yah, limpeh drama. Honestly, if not because I don't have any more tears to shed I would. Friends tell me there'll be others but 1st cut is deepest mah. Tried so many times to put the past behind me but this baggage from 1.5 yrs ago refuses to go away. Or should I say, I don't want to let go...AARRGGHH!!!

Something's missing

Yesterday was so full-on. 1st day at work at Bilo as night fill. I promise to put the stuff back onto the shelves properly if I put something in my cart and decide to put it back later. Compared to working at Dominoe's, this job is heaps harder. Make till all my limbs wana pit chia oredi. Dominoe's you just drive. The hours go just like liddat. Nabeh, this one, the hours are moderate but move goods until can't feel muscles lah. But I guess the pay is worth it lah. $18 and hour leh, twice that of Dominoe's. Some more have to spend petrol $$, pocket also burn hole.

For a moment there I wish I was in SG. Darren's wedding was on. Almost the whole primary school gang was there. And I'm missing my favourite foods...

I am the man on the side

Quite excited today cos gonna meet Mandy. Haven't seen her in ages. Even went to the trouble of getting a haircut. Then she fly limpeh airplane. Nabeh! Say she not feeling well. She play limpeh out a couple of times oredi. Always last min say something come up. But if genuine reason u can't do anything rite? Suck thumb lor. Well at least we're gonna meet tomolo.

Bec smsed me todae. Knew her thru another fren but she also dunno fly where oredi. Was pretty shocked to to be informed of her break-up. Why so shocked is cos only in july she announce her engagement. I guess when u dun see yourself spending the rest of your life with a person, that's the only way to go. Gotta do what the heart says.

This gem of a song for people who are waiting for someone to make up their minds.

Man on the side

six numbers, one more to dial
before I'm before you
I tried to call
been busy all night
gave up waiting at daylight

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me

I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
life as the man on the side

one of the many
one of the few
to stand back and wait for you

excuse me Mrs. Busybody
could you pencil me in when you can
though we both know that the worst part about it
is I would be free when you wanted me
if you wanted me, if you wanted me

I am the man on the side
hoping you'll make up your mind
I am the one who will swallow his pride
Life as the man on the side
Life as the man on the side

I fell in love with the dream that I built of you
playing the part of the queen
taking my own advice
I'm giving up tonight
good luck to you and the king

I know of such a guy by the name of Daniel. I'm sure we could've been friends...

I've got half a smile and zero shame

1st and foremost, this is a blog to exorcise my demons. To complain, bitch and kaopehkaobu(henceforth known as kpkb). Yesh, limpeh knows thats blinkymummy oredi uses this. Buay song, sue lah. Scared leh.

I must admit, this blog is not very the frenly for those speaking the good english. Engrish is splattered about. Sorry Steph, I am a fob (fresh off boat) after all.

I've moved into the new place for about 2 weeks and everything's been fine so far. The only grouse is that it's actually a converted living room, so the lack of a proper door bothers me. There's only this sliding door. There's actually this doorway that's been convered up by some posters stuck together and a wardrobe to hide it. Should've inspected it properly but $60 a week, can't kaopeh lah.

Today was damn ultimate. I knocked my car, again! 3 accidents in 2 months. Pua cheebye! They have sections allotted for trolleys at shopping malls but the bars are to knee height. When I tried to turn out, I didn't move the car out enough. Next thing limpeh hear is "bang!" Followed by "fuck! Gan pua lin nabeh chao cheebye! nabeh cheebye fuck!" All to pick up a watch that was fixed. Nabeh! At this rate limpeh's car no need to fix oredi lah. Scrap also nobody want. Then the see char bor who kiss my car still dun want to return my call. Neber get her claim number then cannot fix car lah!

2 days ago, she messaged me on msn. Quite surprised cos it's the 1st time she's initiated conversation. People who know better tell me that she was just bored and said hi to the 1st familiar face. My heart tells me the same.